Sweet Redemption

5“Then I will restore to you the years that the locust swarm devoured,

as did the young locust, the other locusts, and the ravaging locust,

that great army of mine that I sent among you.

26You will have plenty to eat, and will be fully satisfied.

You will praise the name of the LORD your God,

who has performed wonders specifically for you.

And my people will never be ashamed.

27As a result, you will know that I am in the midst of Israel;

that I myself am the LORD your God—

and there is none other!

And my people will never be ashamed.”

Joel 2:25-27

In 2006, when I accepted Jesus into my heart and into my life, I had no idea to what capacity the word redemption would hold for me.  The years before had been years filled with destructive habits, self-demolition, and darkness.  Sin had ruled and reigned so heavy in my life that even my physical body ached of it, just as King David's had. Satan had managed to, even if only momentarily, disrupt every plan for Hope and a Future that God had for me. 

Moments before the Spirit of God completely invaded my life, I sat hopeless; ruined; and completely broken.  Digging a way out of the mud and mire that I was in seemed ridiculously impossible, and for me, it was. 

BUT GOD...Don't you just love when a story has those two words in it? BUT GOD, in His deep love and mercy; being Jehovah-Rapha (The God who Heals), knew I needed help.  He knew I needed a Mighty Savior to do for me what I could not do for myself.  I was severely wounded from the war Satan had waged against me.  I needed more than just healing.  I needed complete REDEMPTION.

So on that night in 2006, God gave me His word.  It was quite possibly the most audible word I have ever had Him speak to me.  It literally seemed to be out loud.  Not your typical still small voice.

The Lord assured me that every part of me that was broken; every area in my life that had been damaged: relationships, reputations, personal failures, and broken dreams would be healed, restored, REDEEMED.  Not partially.  Not mostly.  But back to the original canvas that God had initially created them as: Pure, clean, & undefiled by sin.

This is where I need to remind you that God NEVER breaks His promises.  He is true to His word.  He will NEVER fail His beloveds.

As I sit here seven years later, I can honestly say that my mind cannot even comprehend how the Lord has kept that promise to me way beyond anything I could have ever asked or imagined.

Tiny little details of my life that I didn’t know needed redeeming, well, He thought they did and He redeemed them!  Every minute area in my life that “the locust” or Satan had stolen from me, God gave me back TEN-FOLD! 

I wish I had time to tell you all about the REDEMPTION God has done in my life, but unfortunately I know that “ain’t nobody got time for that”.  For those who have walked with me through this journey, you have had the great honor of seeing firsthand God’s amazing work.  Consider yourselves very blessed because you have witnessed a true miracle.

Although I won’t overload you with EVERY SINGLE THING He has done, please allow me to tell you the latest two things He has redeemed.  They are really, really, good!

Many of you read on my Facebook a while back that I had a testimony to go with this pregnancy.  It is a true story of redemption and one I want the whole world to hear about. 

As most of you know, when I was 18 I had an abortion.  Satan had so entangled me in sin that I made the worst decision I have ever made in my life.  I ended the life of my first child.  Satan fought hard to convince me of this decision because he KNEW how it would destroy me.  And it did. 

Once I accepted Jesus in my heart, I knew that would be the area I needed the most healing in.  I knew that part of me needed to be redeemed.  I also knew God would do it.  I just didn’t know when or how. 

Fast-foward seven years later….. Happily married and trying to conceive our first child, my husband and I struggled through two miscarriages.  As devastating as they were, I knew my God was good and EVERYTHING he did was for my good.  So I clung to His truth and hope.  Finally, we got a SURPRISE third pregnancy!  I was called in for an early ultrasound due to the past difficulties with my other two pregnancies.  During the ultrasound, the baby was there, the heartbeat was there, but the Sonographer said the size of the baby was concerning according to my cycle dates.  They gave me my due date, which was the end of January, and told me to come back the next week to be rechecked.

Fear and doubt crept into my soul, but again, God convinced me to trust Him.  So I did. 

We came back a week later to see if our sweet baby had grown anymore and if everything was ok.  And wouldn’t you know, that little baby had the strongest heartbeat and had grown just perfectly!  The nurses concluded our dates had been wrong, the baby was right where she needed to be, and they gave me a new due date: February 13^th, 2014. 

So what is the relevance, you ask?  February 13^th is the relevance.  February is the month 8 years ago that I had ended that precious life that was growing inside of me.  8 Years ago in February, Satan had allured me into the most heinous, evil act I could have ever imagined myself doing. 

BUT GOD!  There it is again.  BUT GOD, in His sweet, sweet, sweet, redemption wanted to take that very thing that I meant for evil and turn it into GOOD for HIS GLORY.  So, on the VERY SAME MONTH (My God loves to show off) 8 years ago that I ended LIFE, God redeemed it and is giving me LIFE back! Hallelujah, WHAT A SAVIOR! 

God even had a purpose in those miscarriages.  He knew the time was not right and that if we would wait patiently, not only would he bring us the baby we were dreaming of but He would bring COMPLETE HEALING to me as well! Ah, He is so GOOD, is He not?

You know, I think today I am going to end on that note.  The second story I have of His redemption is wonderful, but I want you to sit on this one for a while and marvel at His goodness. 

He cares about you, beloved.  He cares about every MINUTE detail in your life, down to the months, hours, and seconds. 

He has not forgotten what Satan did to you and HIS vengeance, not yours but HIS, is GLORIOUS!  His vengeance is REDEMPTION.  And there is no sweeter thing. 

My Silver Lining

I have always loved the phrase, "Every cloud has a silver lining".  Rainy, gloomy days have always seemed to have the power to determine my attitude.  If I wake up and darkness still fills my room, I instantly want to go back to sleep.  As I get ready, I search my closet for any form of "stretchy"pants, "comfy" pants, and other various articles of clothing that will ensure that everyone around me knows exactly how I feel about this day according to my attire.  I pour an extra cup of coffee as my back up and head to work/church/school/fill in the blanks ___________.  As I am in my car, I always hopelessly search the sky for any indication of blue sky, sunshine, or a break in the clouds.  I pout when no such thing is revealed.  Although I see the silver linings around the clouds, it's hard for me to allow the prospect of the sun behind the clouds to be anything optimistic or something to look forward to.  If I am honest, most times I *choose* to ignore its presence.  Rain is rain.  It's here, it's not going anywhere, I am doomed to be miserable the rest of this entire day!

Sadly, my spiritual life can take on this vicious cycle as well.  When life throws me figurative rainy days, I choose not to see the silver lining or, the light at the end of the tunnel, if you will.  I pout.  I sulk.  I become rotten and miserable.  

However, the Holy Spirit has convicted my heart and my soul.  My perspective is wrong and it has clouded my vision and stifled my joy.  Is it not God who creates all things?  Is rain from the enemy or does it come from the very hands of God Himself?  

Job 37 answers that question powerfully and beautifully: 
.
6 

He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’

    and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’

7 

So that everyone he has made may know his work,

    he stops all people from their labor.

8 

He loads the clouds with moisture;

    he scatters his lightning through them.

 

At his direction they swirl around

    over the face of the whole earth

    to do whatever he commands them.

 

He brings the clouds to punish people,

    or to water his earth and show his love.

“Listen to this, Job;

    stop and consider God’s wonders.

 

Do you know how God controls the clouds

    and makes his lightning flash?

 

Do you know how the clouds hang poise

    those wonders of him who has perfect knowledge?

You who swelter in your clothes

    when the land lies hushed under the south wind, 

can you join him in spreading out the skies,

    hard as a mirror of cast bronze?

See, I tend to forgot that when dark days come my way, it is my Heavenly Father who has allowed them.  He sees a purpose in them.  He sees a plan.  The loss of life, failures in finances, unexpected disasters, unanswered prayers....

These are all "Clouds" that God controls, hang poise, and spreads out.

Okay.  This makes my circumstances easier to understand and comprehend.  This knowledge points me to Him and causes my eyes to look up.  Yet, I am still not satisfied.  My joy is still far from me and the cloud is still hanging over me.  This knowledge only causes me to say "WHY, GOD, WHY?".  Relieve me of this circumstance!  Hear my pleas and prayers and respond!  I know you're faithful, I know you're true but I am trying desperately to be free...to be released of this burden.  What more can I do?  What more do you want from me?  Haven't I done my part?  Haven't I remained faithful?  Haven't I done all of the things to rid my life of this chaos?  Tell me, God.  Tell me!  What do you want from me?!?!

And that is when I go back to the first part of Job 37:

He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’

    and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’

7 

So that everyone he has made may know his work,

    He stops all people from their labor.

When clouds hang over my life, I immediately feel as if it is my duty to get them to leave.  Somehow and someway I know I can make my sunshine return.  So I go looking for jobs; I go looking for new living arrangements; I seek advice and wisdom on the internet; I look over my bank statements obsessively believing that if I keep a constant check on them, somehow I am in control.

It's all me, me, me working, laboring, striving to make my circumstances better.  

BUT JESUS says:

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

Rest.  That thing I CRAVE when a gloomy day rolls around.  That four letter word my heart desires when it's dark and rainy outside.  Rest.

The one thing my flesh RUNS from when my life is covered by a dark and overpowering thunderstorm. 

Yet God is there.  He is urging my heart to be still and know that He is God and He is in control. Psalm 46:10

God has placed that storm in my life for reasons He will eventually reveal to me, or perhaps simply for reasons I may never understand. But one thing I know, it is for my good.  He has a plan behind it and a purpose.  His promise reminds us that He will never leave us or forsake us, there will be joy in the mourning, and that  "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

God wants me to cease trying to fix everything and to rest in the shadow of His wings.  He is working a plan and I am simply getting in the way when I try to take control.  

This weekend I practiced my knew heart perspective.  Rain flooded mine and my husbands first day on vacation and we were driven to spend the day inside.  Instead of seeing this rain as a something to bitter and fight against, we embraced it.  We walked around a mall we'd never been it.  We went out for breakfast and watched the rain fall as we discussed how wonderful our life is.  We took naps.  Good, restful, much needed naps.  We went grocery shopping and spent quality time together.  Then we took more amazing naps!  And when we woke up, guess what happened?  The sun was shining in through the window!!  Bright, beautiful Sunshine.  

Not wanting to waste a minute of it, we raced to the beach and took a slow, enjoyable walk with our faces to the sun and the clouds to our backs.  We praised God for the break in the clouds and soaked up the warmth and light of the sun.  As the drizzle came back down on our way off the beach, I smiled and praised God that every good gift is from Him.  He knew my husband and I simply needed rest and we needed time with each other.  Slow, downtime, to reflect on how good and simple our life really is.

Embracing the rain and not fighting against it, we were able to maintain our joy even in undesirable circumstances.    

We were able to see the silver lining and allow it to cause our hearts to hope.  

God's working a plan in your life.  When you can't see through the darkness, let HIM lead you.  Don't try to find your way out on your own.  His way is the best way and His way promises a sunny tomorrow.  

And when you look up to the clouds and see the silver linings, remember that although you can't see the sun, it is still there hiding behind the cloud and the silver lining...

Indeed, everything is for your benefit, so that grace, extended through more and more people, may cause thanksgiving to increase to God’s glory.

Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. 
 So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:15-20

Stop striving and find rest in His promises.